I should be telling you this but I never get the courage when I am with you. I never want to drag you down when we are together. I'm borrowing from your happiness so I try to make you happy. You told me once that you never had a vent to release on. That you never had anyone to talk to. Consider my situation. All the pent up rage that I have kept all these years since we have been together. You never knew me before you came back in my life. You never knew how much hate I had to keep inside. Back then, I had friends to talk to. Now, you of all people should know why I don't trust that much anymore.

It's funny that you do not seem to believe that I choose not to mingle with my co-workers. Always doubting if I was eating alone. I told you before, I only socialize as needed now. I have stopped building bridges and started building walls. Never again... Trust is a weakness... I have nurtured enough snakes to last a lifetime...

I smile, but it doesn't mean that I'm happy... I laugh but the laughter burns. I have been wearing masks for a long time before you came,  and it doesn't hurt that much anymore to keep wearing them.

When you read this, ask me if I would be able to talk to you. By then, hopefully things would be much better

Currently listening to: Incubus - Pardon me
Currently reading: No sleep
Currently feeling: Empty
Posted by Elan_Morin on September 22, 2016 at 04:22 AM |
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